Failure

(picture source: galvestonmusicscene.com)

What does it mean? Fail? Lose? Unfortunate? Unsuccessful? Huh, people are free to interpret what is failure to them, but as for me, failure is a very subjective issue….in weaker point of view, once you fail, you will always fail….damn, it was a very stupid judgment….believe me, there is a people who think that way…but for me, failure make me even more stronger than I am now….why? because in Islam pun, failure is not a sin at all kan, it`s a dugaan yang ALLAH gave to us as a reminder for us not to forget the only one god, ALLAH s.w.t…..but, for some people, if you fail in what you do or fail to get what you want, it means you takde rezeki lagi….and I totally agreed because as a muslim, we should believe in jodoh, rezeki, ajal maut semua ALLAH tentukan….

So, why I`m very interested about failure nie? huh…it is because I just received a letter from SPA informing me that I GAGAL in ptd exam….belum rezeki..….after all, I didn`t expect too much for this exam ….let say if I put 100% expectation that I`m gonna pass the exam, then when I know I`m failed in the exam, I will become so very frustrated kan….so, let it be….if ada rezeki, insyaALLAH, I will become a very caliber Pegawai Tadbir & Diplomatik (PTD)….*wink wink*….

Sapa yang tak pernah fail kan…everybody pernah fail, regardless what they did, but depa pernah merasa fail kan…..hmm, personally, failure yang really hit me badly, when I`m at matriculation….i still remember that time, it happened time mid sem where I got CGPA below 1 pointer….how stupid am I that time, luckily it`s a mid sem exam, if final exam, for sure dah kena kick out from matriculation….after I knew my result, I called my mom and say that I want to quit because I don`t think I can go on anymore….but my mom cakap, be patient so as my room-mate, dila….she said if final exam tak meningkat then, we`ll figure out something….then, a week after (if I`m not mistaken la), uitm ada open application utk diploma kat uitm….i don`t know la, kuasa tuhan kan, rasa berat hati nak isi online form….when my friend ask, dah isi? i say later….at the end of the day, dah close date pon ak tak isi….i don`t even visit uitm site….i don`t know why….

Then, when sem 2 started, damn, I got 2 "fierce" lecturers for physic and chemistry….but, Alhamdulillah, because of their "fierceness", I became who I am now….graduate from USM (got APEX already now, proud to be USM student), currently working at USM (now in year 4 staying in USM, sayang terlebih ^_^Y) and insyaALLAH, I will continue my masters soon…who knows I can go this far….only ALLAH know what`s the best for hambaNya….ohh, before I end my failure story, fyi, I managed to get CGPA 2.91 in my final exam….from 0.++ to 2.91….yosh, it really hard…I tell you….only 1 secret…every nite after study, I will sleep around 30 mins, woke up and do solat hajat…every day.....even though masa kat USM I`m not so good, so to say, average student je, but siapa yang boleh expect rezeki from ALLAH kan….alhamdulillah, throughout my study kat USM, every obstacles and challenges yang datang I handle it well and I use to the fullest every chances yang ALLAH bagi untuk improve myself….hehehe…..

So, if me, an average student from gelugor can go this far, I believe you guys also can do much better than me….hey, whatever people say about you, ignore it, be deaf and listen to your heart…because people always talk about other people and people yang “kureng” cerdik selalunya jealous tgk kejayaan orang lain..so ignore them and listen to your heart…insyaALLAH you will success….

P/s- story di atas semua kisah benar belaka and mainly nak share dengan you guys about myself….i`m not saying that I`m the best but I really hope this story can at least influence(i don`t think influence is the best word, maybe i can replace it with inspire...hehehe) other to achieve their dream….

P/s- sorry for my bad English…I know my grammar sucks…still learning to improve it….because learning is an unstoppable activity….hehehehe….happy learning friends……..