It`s gonna be tough….but, optimistic will overcome the toughness

Tough!!!! That`s what can I say right now….Tolong orang punya research much more easier dari conduct own research ….tambah2 pulak context ak ialah orphan children….bkn ak –ve minded, tapi ak xpenah deal dgn budak2 kecik selama nie, so it`s really tough for me….selama ak hidup 24 tahun, xpenah ak ada adik, so suddenly nak communicate dengan budak2 nie, kesabaran sangat amatlah penting….they are quite different dari budak2 yang stay dengan parents dorang….i almost give up the moment ak tak boleh nak handle budak2 nie…..they are totally different….tapi mungkin approach yang ak guna untuk interact dengan budak2 nie x kena kot….focus group isnt work for them …..they expecting fun activities, tapi ak dtg dngan soalan…OMG…..

the moment ak rsa give up, memang btol2 rasa nak nangis, tapi ak tahan sebab time tu nak balik, kalo nangis, spa nak bawak motor balik umah(off-topic jap)…..tp mmg time tu ak sangat sedih, bkn sbb ak pikirkan budak2 tu, tapi pikirkan research ak….how i am going to make this happen kalo pre-study tak jadi….of course, there is always next time, but what if the next time sama je…

ak ke yg ptt dipersalahkan bla tak pandai layan budak2? nope, you cant put the blame on me….bkn ak sengaja wat x reti, tapi demi Allah, ak x pandai nak layan budak2…..huhuhu….Thank God, Atie and nadiah was there for me …kalo x, memang ak xtau nak buat apa dah….atie sangat pandai melayan budak2…maybe sebab dia ada 2 adik and nephew…dia dah biasa layan budak2….Thanks to nadiah too….she`s good too….I`m avoiding the word “fail” because it is cursed word for me….ak bkn sorang yang fail tapi mungkin ak x biasa dengan budak2…..

tapi there is one sweet girl, i called her “kak lin”….she`s very kind-hearted girl….haizzz……dia yg suggest utk buat activities instead of duduk dengan dorg and bersembang….they love doing activities….ak paham keadaan dorang kat wisma tu because in some way, we`re in the same shoes….the only different my mother can afford to taking care of me until now….yang lain2, xde beza….dorang sunyi, ak pon sunyi…dorang depends pada kawan untuk problem sharing, sama la ak pon….they are having difficulties in their academics because of family matter, itu pon sama je dngn ak…..

And that is the only thing I should hold on sepanjang research ak….mcm mana ak nak elakkan apa yg berlaku kat ak, jadi kat dorang….that`s why it`s gonna be tough, but optimistic will overcome the toughness….itu yang ak perlu buat sekarang….instead of duduk sedih and pikirkan kan –ve consequences, I should plan and do something supaya ak boleh interact dgn budak2 nie….

post nie dah mcm rojak…itu la apa yg ak rasa sekarang…serabut….tiba2 je mcm2 nak kena consider…elok nak focus kat literature review, byk plak bnda lain kna take into consideration….colloquium, poster presentation, PPT utk ITSIM, questionnaire development, activity utk data collection la….bertambah beban….huhuhu….SERABUT!!!!!